The Fire We Can’t Hold (Weekly Recovery Reflection)

When we grip our anger, it grips us back.

Quote

“Holding onto anger is like clutching a burning coal — you are the one who gets burned.” — adapted from the Buddha

My Thoughts

Anger is a natural and necessary emotion — it tells us when something isn’t right. But in recovery, we learn that holding onto anger is different from feeling it. Feeling anger helps us name the wound; holding it keeps the wound open. Many of us spent years using anger as armor — it made us feel powerful when we really felt small, unseen, or afraid. But the longer we carry that fire, the more it burns through our serenity.

When anger takes over, it disconnects us — from spirit, from love, and from truth. The hard part is that anger often feels safer than grief or vulnerability. It’s easier to stay mad than to feel the sadness underneath. Yet, real healing happens when we let that heat move through and out of us, instead of storing it in our hearts. Recovery asks us not to deny anger, but to transform it — into courage, into boundaries, into wisdom.

Action for the Week

Notice where anger is showing up in your body this week — maybe in your chest, your jaw, your stomach. When it arises, pause. Breathe deeply and ask, What is this anger trying to protect?

Then, gently thank it for its service, and invite it to release. Journaling, praying, or talking with a trusted friend can help move it out of your system. Remember: peace isn’t the absence of anger — it’s what’s waiting underneath when you finally set the coal down.